So sorry your family is going thru this. May I suggest a setting up a “ go fund me” or some kind of a funding tool . I know I would donate to help. I used to work @ a hospital that had a fund for people in need. Ask a social worker if they could set up an account until her paper work is done. I think most people want to help. Also check if there are clinical trials available that may have the pharmaceuticals that would be conducive regarding her needs. Maybe gather friends/family & see if you can have or get a permit to have a public cake walk or something like a white elephant sale. . Don’t be afraid to ask the hospital chaplain, churches , salvation army for assistance as well. Sending love … in the meantime.
Yes, to all the comments above, but let's take this up a few thousand feet and look down. The problems aren't the hospitals; it's what controls their range of motion. Money is the marker that the powerful use to control a system of thinking and behaving that rewards the powerful. They get that way through generational wealth, intense effort that generally wears away over time, and exhaustion, an absence of any sense of right and wrong. And then there are the deliberate who reduce each to to how much power or wealth they can gather, no matter the cost others are forced to sacrifice. Our President is a clear example. Biologically predestined, forged by a horrible childhood, or just a soul who never learned the lessons we all confront. Don't lie, don't steal, don't bear false witness, don't sleep with another mans wife of husband, don't kill. Pretty sure I've missed a few.
We don't have a supply problem, we have a distribution problem. There's more than enough food, medicine, housing, decent salary capacity to create a far more equitable existence for us all.
Why don't we turn to that approach?
Greed, fear, broken childhoods, generational trauma that is passed from father to son to father again.
I've never seen so many people willing to adopt a victim mentality, urged and provoked by our supreme leader. And yet I wonder.
Are we our brothers/sister keepers? Are we willing to limit our own pleasure to ensure against the misery of another? Or is it every man/woman for themselves. Fuck the other, I deserve more then, “them!”
If you're not born into wealth or a family that values education, or a neighborhood that doesn't have a grocery store, when you enter a store and the clerks follow you around just because your skin pigment is darker than others, then I think that sense of unfairness is justified. Anger is real and to be forced to swallow it for generations causes a stores rage that should be recognized and witnessed to and listened to and real change out in place for equality of just being.
Everyday we wake up. Everyday we make choices.
I've been holding a protest sign in a park in Woodstock VT that reads, “What will you do!”
Well?
Its our choice - life is a miracle in every breath it takes. It costs nothing to be kind. The question, “Am I good enough?” is a lie. Good enough according to whom? Life is a gift - live your gratitude and hold a door open for someone struggling, try to be fully present in our conversations. The universe have us two ears and one mouth - I think that is a clue.
Full circle - it is shameful for the way we devalue a human life into a profit loss calculation. Love is priceless.
Love your neighbor.
Help your neighbor.
Love yourself.
Help yourself.
This earth has taken a horrific pounding in these past few hundred years.
There are solutions and those solutions may require we don’t own two homes, drive luxury automobiles, not dine out weekly, not buy cheap clothes from countries without child labor laws.
Every religion in the world has as it central core the concept that we treat others as you would like to be treated.
Pretty simple if we have courage and love inside us.
Take all the time you need. Former health care worker here who has seen the horror of US health care systems. I wish for you to find joy and comfort in your mom's presence and strength to help her.
So tragic how end of life issues break the banks for the good people of the US. I'm living with a degenerative neurological condition, history of breast cancer, and bouts of debilitating depression. My career in nursing ended early related to these problems and my life that looked so good until 2015 vaporized in front of me. If I receive any more painful or destructive diagnoses I'm going a palliative pathway because my meager assets won't go very far. Here's a hunch that I have, and it's dark. Conditions for the sick elderly will worsen, the services will be prohibitively expensive and the pathway for humane end of life care will be overwhelmed. Suicide will become rampant and lawyers on both sides will cement the deadlock of action in all areas. The oligarchs, drug company & healthcare executives and lawyers will need to live in high security pods to avoid the risk of contact with the general population.
No I haven't seen that movie. I'll have to see it. I follow healthcare news when I can. It's not terribly surprising that another person came up with the same conclusions based on experience. Sad
I’m so sorry to see what you’re dealing with. I know you don’t feel you need permission to do what you need to do but I’m bringing this up anyway.
The last few weeks of my daughter’s battle with cancer was truly a trying time. I had 3 other children at home, a not so helpful husband and a job that was at a critical point in selling the business and I was the one with the numbers. Lots of stressful decisions to make.
I promise you will never regret having given every moment possible to your mom during this period. Don’t give your time here a second thought unless it’s to find some relief now and again. We’ll be here when you get back.
I’m sorry the medical system is making all of this so difficult for you. It’s truly criminal. Sending love and lots of empathy..
Sending deep loving kindness. This is why at just shy of 51 yrs, I am about to get my RN. I don’t know if (as long time auxiliary healthcare provider) I can do a dang thing from inside the system, but I’m going in anyway to see what I can do.
Oh my gosh- I’m so sorry to hear this is happening in your life. I’ve been in a similar situation with my husband who died at age 47 after numerous horrid treatments for stage 4 melanoma. But he had insurance and the means to pay. So I cannot even imagine how tough this is for you and your mom. My heart goes out to you. Please know all of your readers are behind you - we’re all sending you love, strength and hope. Reach out when you need support. I found that really helps. I’ll be thinking of you.
I’m so sorry. This is the problem - we view the world in the abstract until it comes for us. We need to figure out how to instill, educate, relearn…empathy.
So sorry your family is going thru this. May I suggest a setting up a “ go fund me” or some kind of a funding tool . I know I would donate to help. I used to work @ a hospital that had a fund for people in need. Ask a social worker if they could set up an account until her paper work is done. I think most people want to help. Also check if there are clinical trials available that may have the pharmaceuticals that would be conducive regarding her needs. Maybe gather friends/family & see if you can have or get a permit to have a public cake walk or something like a white elephant sale. . Don’t be afraid to ask the hospital chaplain, churches , salvation army for assistance as well. Sending love … in the meantime.
Terribly sorry about your Mother. Not something you can prepare for. Be with her and tell her we send our love. We aren’t going anywhere.
Yes, to all the comments above, but let's take this up a few thousand feet and look down. The problems aren't the hospitals; it's what controls their range of motion. Money is the marker that the powerful use to control a system of thinking and behaving that rewards the powerful. They get that way through generational wealth, intense effort that generally wears away over time, and exhaustion, an absence of any sense of right and wrong. And then there are the deliberate who reduce each to to how much power or wealth they can gather, no matter the cost others are forced to sacrifice. Our President is a clear example. Biologically predestined, forged by a horrible childhood, or just a soul who never learned the lessons we all confront. Don't lie, don't steal, don't bear false witness, don't sleep with another mans wife of husband, don't kill. Pretty sure I've missed a few.
We don't have a supply problem, we have a distribution problem. There's more than enough food, medicine, housing, decent salary capacity to create a far more equitable existence for us all.
Why don't we turn to that approach?
Greed, fear, broken childhoods, generational trauma that is passed from father to son to father again.
I've never seen so many people willing to adopt a victim mentality, urged and provoked by our supreme leader. And yet I wonder.
Are we our brothers/sister keepers? Are we willing to limit our own pleasure to ensure against the misery of another? Or is it every man/woman for themselves. Fuck the other, I deserve more then, “them!”
If you're not born into wealth or a family that values education, or a neighborhood that doesn't have a grocery store, when you enter a store and the clerks follow you around just because your skin pigment is darker than others, then I think that sense of unfairness is justified. Anger is real and to be forced to swallow it for generations causes a stores rage that should be recognized and witnessed to and listened to and real change out in place for equality of just being.
Everyday we wake up. Everyday we make choices.
I've been holding a protest sign in a park in Woodstock VT that reads, “What will you do!”
Well?
Its our choice - life is a miracle in every breath it takes. It costs nothing to be kind. The question, “Am I good enough?” is a lie. Good enough according to whom? Life is a gift - live your gratitude and hold a door open for someone struggling, try to be fully present in our conversations. The universe have us two ears and one mouth - I think that is a clue.
Full circle - it is shameful for the way we devalue a human life into a profit loss calculation. Love is priceless.
Love your neighbor.
Help your neighbor.
Love yourself.
Help yourself.
This earth has taken a horrific pounding in these past few hundred years.
There are solutions and those solutions may require we don’t own two homes, drive luxury automobiles, not dine out weekly, not buy cheap clothes from countries without child labor laws.
Every religion in the world has as it central core the concept that we treat others as you would like to be treated.
Pretty simple if we have courage and love inside us.
Take all the time you need. Former health care worker here who has seen the horror of US health care systems. I wish for you to find joy and comfort in your mom's presence and strength to help her.
So sorry you and her are dealing with this and having to contend with our nightmare of a healthcare system.
Words feel hollow; just wanted to let you know that an internet stranger heard you, and is thinking of you and your mom.
Ugh that last sentence 😭😭😭
So tragic how end of life issues break the banks for the good people of the US. I'm living with a degenerative neurological condition, history of breast cancer, and bouts of debilitating depression. My career in nursing ended early related to these problems and my life that looked so good until 2015 vaporized in front of me. If I receive any more painful or destructive diagnoses I'm going a palliative pathway because my meager assets won't go very far. Here's a hunch that I have, and it's dark. Conditions for the sick elderly will worsen, the services will be prohibitively expensive and the pathway for humane end of life care will be overwhelmed. Suicide will become rampant and lawyers on both sides will cement the deadlock of action in all areas. The oligarchs, drug company & healthcare executives and lawyers will need to live in high security pods to avoid the risk of contact with the general population.
Did you see The Room Next Door with Julianne Moore? Her friend in movie predicts the same.
No I haven't seen that movie. I'll have to see it. I follow healthcare news when I can. It's not terribly surprising that another person came up with the same conclusions based on experience. Sad
I'm sorry you are going through this, and i know it's not just you.... I thank you for sharing your story 🙏🏼
As an RN of 40 years, I know this to be 100% true... and so very painful. I left the field because of it.
I wish I could hug you 💙
I’m so sorry this is happening to your mother and to you. It’s unimaginably cruel. Our healthcare system is surely broken.
You have written the best defintion of our inhumane for-profit healthcare system. I am so sorry that you and your family are living in this nightmare.
I’m so sorry to see what you’re dealing with. I know you don’t feel you need permission to do what you need to do but I’m bringing this up anyway.
The last few weeks of my daughter’s battle with cancer was truly a trying time. I had 3 other children at home, a not so helpful husband and a job that was at a critical point in selling the business and I was the one with the numbers. Lots of stressful decisions to make.
I promise you will never regret having given every moment possible to your mom during this period. Don’t give your time here a second thought unless it’s to find some relief now and again. We’ll be here when you get back.
I’m sorry the medical system is making all of this so difficult for you. It’s truly criminal. Sending love and lots of empathy..
Sending deep loving kindness. This is why at just shy of 51 yrs, I am about to get my RN. I don’t know if (as long time auxiliary healthcare provider) I can do a dang thing from inside the system, but I’m going in anyway to see what I can do.
Oh my gosh- I’m so sorry to hear this is happening in your life. I’ve been in a similar situation with my husband who died at age 47 after numerous horrid treatments for stage 4 melanoma. But he had insurance and the means to pay. So I cannot even imagine how tough this is for you and your mom. My heart goes out to you. Please know all of your readers are behind you - we’re all sending you love, strength and hope. Reach out when you need support. I found that really helps. I’ll be thinking of you.
How heartbreaking and true. Health care is all about profit-not caring.
A crushing, but astute review of healthcare in America. We, as a country, have to do better.
I am so sorry that your mother and you are going through this horror. May comfort be given now and throughout your Mother's health journey.
I’m so sorry. This is the problem - we view the world in the abstract until it comes for us. We need to figure out how to instill, educate, relearn…empathy.